Day 21 - Does weirdness = happiness? Possibly, yes!

I stopped by the funeral home today. It's always hard to walk in and have to say goodbye with a heavy heart. Last night I had pulled out the old yearbooks. It took me back to places that I had tucked away someplace deep. I flipped through and found the message that he had written after a class we had shared together. There were many other messages, written by friends of a life time ago, that made my heart smile.

So when I walked in today to the funeral home, I was surrounded by former classmates. Some I could remember by name, some by face, and some I wasn't quite sure. They all seemed to know each other and how they were all connected...and I was reminded of how I fit in a lot of places, but I don't really fit in at all. When someone was asked if he remembered me, it was then recalled that I had taken the "smart" classes. But I wasn't really all that smart, and I skated by with the minimal requirements.

My life went in an entirely different direction, and looking back I think I may have lost a lot of years. With the introduction of social media, I've been catching up with people and realizing all that I missed. And in that process, I'm realizing that my life is kind of like that all over the place. I fit in enough in a variety of places, but I don't have the depth to totally belong in any one place. I have my closest friends that I hold close. They know things about me before I even know them. They understand me, even when I have no words to explain. And today, I'm thinking I kind of like it this way. Realizing how much of an introvert I am, this works for me. I feel networked and involved, and loved and cared for, without so much of the stress of having to keep up with those social things I notice.

And then tonight from the funeral home came the wrestling meet. My nineteen year old and his girlfriend arrived to support the fifteen year old. My son and his girlfriend are awesome together, after all, he wears her pink boots and hoodies. (Yeah, we've got some weirdness going on, I do believe.) He helped the youngest of the brothers (age nine) to get the bill of his cap just right (aka just like his). The weirdness continued, when in the parking lot my nineteen year old snuck in our car, and I almost drove away with him because I was so distracted. And as we pulled away, with the correct boys on the car, the fifteen year old pulled out two cartoons of chocolate milk and a sandwich. It was 8:00 pm, he had been storing them in his backpack since lunch, appriximately nine hours prior. And he ate it. My car may never smell the same. :-)

I wouldn't change a thing. I love my boys. I love the life God has blessed me with. Even when the struggles seem too much, even when the weight is heavy, I still wouldn't change a thing because overall, it's a good place to be.